Asserting my independence.

Ever since I can remember, I've had a wicked independence streak.

I was that kid that ran around the supermarket, and church, and the neighborhood making friends.

I was that kid that talked to strangers, insisting to my family that they weren't strangers, because I had befriended them before having this conversation.

I was also that kid that ran - not walked, ran - through the doors to my first days of preschool and kindergarten (mom was not happy about that, let me tell you right now).

My whole life, for one reason or another, public declarations of my independence have been important to me. I believe that it was because of this, that the past four months of homestay were so taxing for me. Not being able to independently decide anything for myself, after a lifetime of strugging to do just that, was a shock to my system. Eating, sleeping, bathing, learning, relaxing, socializing and sight-seeing were all neatly planned out for me from the moment I stepped off the plane in Philadelphia to the moment I shut the door of my apartment a fortnight ago.

Even after I moved out of homestay and into my own place, I've still been yearning to spread my wings even farther. The act of finding my groove - buying groceries again, regulating my eat/sleep/bathe schedule, etc - has left me feeling socially awkward and frazzled. But that little voice in the back of my head said that it was time to shake off those feelings and do something to restore my sense of self.

So today, I bought myself a refrigerator.

It was a necessary purchase (as its hard to shop for groceries by the kilo when my kitchen hovers at body temperature for weeks at a time) but I did it all on my own. I went to a few stores, checked prices and features, set up a taxi to help me get it back to my place, and then made the final purchase this morning.

It doesn't sound like much, I know.

And I might've overpaid a bit.

But to restore my sense of adulthood and independence as strongly as this refrigerator has... it was worth it.

P.S. My first items to be refrigerated will be a pot of gazpacho, a melon-cucumber smoothie and iced tea, unsweetened but with lots of lemon.